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Buzzing Stocks: Dalmia Bharat Enterprises

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Monday, 17 September 2012 | Posted in ,


BUZZING STOCKS
Dalmia Bharat Enterprises started its march to become multi-bagger but after SP Tulsian confirmed it is multi-bagger for the first time it started coming down
Dalmia Bharat Enterprises:
BSE: 533309 | NSE: DALMIABEL | BSE Sep 18, 146.20 9.90 (+7.26%)
Dalmia Bharat Enterprises started its march to become multi-bagger in the opening session but just after SP Tulsian confirmed it is multi-bagger for the first time in its life, the stock started falling. Sources said that after the stock started moving down, Tulsian stared at the stock with an angry look. After Tulsian's angry look, the feared stock recovered again.

Rahul Gandhi said Indian voters 'dare to think beyond Narendra Modi'

Posted by Diggy Chacha | | Posted in ,

INTERVIEW - POLITICS
Modi's focus on Gujarat and not entire India makes Rahul Gandhi furious
After a silent session of over 4-5 months, Rahul Gandhi came out with fresh attacks on Narendra Modi. He urged Indian voters to think beyond Modi along the lines of IIPM's Arindam Chaudhari.
"I dare all Indian voters to think beyond Modi and chose me as their chief minister. Oh sorry... Prime Minister," said Rahul Gandhi in a candid interview with India Satire correspondent.
He strongly argued "Actually, I find there is increasing dumbness among Indian voters who are found out on Twitter and Facebook tracking this guy who has done nothing great for India. I don't know why he restricted his reforms agenda in Gujarat only. Why did he avoid spreading reforms and investments to other states like Bihar, UP and Delhi?"
"He could have also chosen Andaman and Nicobar, Lakshadweep and Puducherry for attracting investments. The name Vibrant Gujarat shows that his restricted mentality towards reforming only his own state and community while neither he believes in the India as a whole," asked Rahul Gandhi with strong voice.
Rahul Gandhi also told correspondent that he feels shuddered while visiting Gujarat, as there is a stark difference in the development between Uttar Pradesh and Gujarat.
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He asked voters "I pledge to do better for entire India. I promise to implement new wave of thoughts and ideas against Modi's total focus on Gujarat. Therefore, I dare Indian voters to think beyond Modi."

Breaking: Nitin Gadkari got heart attack on hearing Sushil Kumar Shinde's statement on coal block

Posted by Diggy Chacha | | Posted in ,

NEWS IN BRIEF - POLITICS
Sushil Kumar Shinde warned weak hearted people to stay away from his jokes
BJP Senior Leader and President, Nitin Gadkari reported severe heart attack after a series of laughter on the statement of Sushil Kumar Shinde on coal block issue. Nitin Gadkari was admitted to nearby Municipal Hospital to get an urgent treatment.
"After listening to Shinde's statement that people would forget coal issue as like Bofors, Nitin Gadkari started laughing and laughing and a series of laughter a life time laugh and continuous laugh and laugh and which finally converted into heart attack," said source who was present when Nitin Gadkari was watching the news.
The source said that he tried to calm down the situation by talking on the various topics such as Digvijay Singh, Chidambaram, Rahul Gandhi, etc. However, nothing stopped his laughter and finally when Digvijay Singh making a serious face told media that Shinde made statement on false accusations made on Bofors and as like that on coal scam, they would forget created another ripple in the heart of Nitin Gadkari which bursted into another series of laughter taking him to ICU conditions.
Dr. Prakash Bhalla under whose he is in observation said "This Laughtoburst Cardio Disease (LCD) which is a lot similar to creating a gas in the stomach. This kind of heart attack is common to fat people. Initially but gradually laughing gas increases in the tummy to reach to heart and finally heart pump bursts and a serious heart attack comes to the patient. We are actually working on Nitinji but we recommend Congress Leaders to show some maturity, avoid satires and funny statements so that weak heart people like Nitin Gadkari can survive."
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According to Wockhardt Hospital sources, Nitin Gadkari's condition is stable and Doctors advised him to stop watching news channels and particularly Sushil Kumar Shinde and Digvijay Singh's statements.
While India Satire Correspondent reached Sushil Kumar Shinde for his comment on Gadkari's health, he said that right now he is not in a mood to make any funny statement. Still after continuous persuasion, he said "I like making funny and stupid statement. So I would advise the weak hearted people to stay away from me. See what happened to Jaya Bachchan she is still in proper health despite I taunted her in so much of funny way."

Yash Chopra again confirmed that ‘his next film will be his last movie’

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Sunday, 16 September 2012 | Posted in ,

INTERVIEW - BOLLYWOOD
For safety of audience Uday Chopra is not casted in SRK-Katrina's Jab Tak Hai Jaan
India's one of the Senior most directors, Yash Chopra again confirmed that 'Jab Tak Hai Jaan', his new flick will be last directorial movie. The director has confirmed it for third time after 'Dil To Pagal Hai', 'Veer-Zaara'. He also told media that to ensure audience safety he is not casting Uday Chopra as a special appearance in the movie.
"Actually, I think this is my last movie," said Yash Chopra with his thundering voice, reflecting that sometimes he gets temptation to say he is done now and young generation should take over.
He said in a candid interview with India Satire Correspondent "This is for first time I am feeling that I should now be retiring. Fu*k of these romantic movies, nothing happens in my life neither in my movies. All are boring, slow and literally stupid. Sometimes I consider myself as Mahesh Bhatt who makes same movies with title and cast change."
While Correspondent recalled that Yash Chopra already announced his retirement at the time of his Dil To Pagal Hai and Veer-Zaara, great Director Yash Chopra said "Oh really! Did I say that? I don't recall. May be that time I might have made such statement, I am not sure. Ooo... This time I am sure that I may be retiring. But are you really sure that I had directed Dil To Pagal Hai? I recently watched that movie and abused the stupid director for making such disastrously idiotic film. But if I have directed that movie, then I will have to say that I have to bit improve myself. Some subtle aspects which could have pointed towards maturity of the script and audience's brain would have been replaced to great masala angle. In my next movie I will definitely try to overcome my issues."
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Besides discussing about future plans, Chopra also told about his movie's script and casting.
He said "The movie is same old badass kind of goodie-goodie one. There will be same characters and same love story and same love triangle and same romance and same Shahrukh Khan. The thing is I really consider Shahrukh in my place. If he would have been somewhat better looking guy and if I was not bald, we both had similar features and a lot of resemblance. That made me casting him in front of lot of young and good looking girls. He has done great justice to my inner feelings, emotions and understanding of damn middle age and old age crisis."
Talking about casting, Yash Chopra confirmed that Uday Chopra is not a part of this film ending all the rumours which created panic among the Chopra's loyal audience.
"Though, I try to keep my audience immature and stupid, I am damn sure that it is not so immature and idiot to tolerate Uday Chopra in the movie. Even I can't see him acting. For safety of my audience, I have to avoid Uday Chopra even as a cameo. So my audience needs not to be worried," said Yash Chopra.

99% sure that topless lady is not Queen Elizabeth - Editor of Glamour Magazine

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Friday, 14 September 2012 | Posted in ,

NEWS IN BRIEF - WORLD
UK paparazzi up its sleeves as foreign competition of tapping royal family has entered in UK
Rising competition in the gossip magazines to disrobe UK's Kingdom
After few foreign magazines (USA and French) published nude photos of Prince Harry and Prince William's wife Kate Middleton, UK magazines up its sleeves to keep its readership intact. Following the stiff competition to tap Britain's royal family in its birth day suit, UK's popular gossip magazine 'Glamour' planned to publish topless photos of Queen Elizabeth. However, it is still not sure that whether that old lady was actually Queen Elizabeth.
"Yea, yesterday only one of our correspondents received a snap of an old lady who was having sun bath on the beach. She was wearing only large goggles and was looking very stubborn and arrogantly stupid. By first look, we thought she must be Queen Elizabeth. But right now we are still not sure," said Jo Elvin, Editor of Glamour's UK version.
However, Glamour is also aware that it can't wait and has to release the photos ASAP before competition come into picture.
"These photos have huge interest among the audience, even more than Kate Middleton's photos. Many old guys, grand fathers, grannies, uncles and stupid interest young guys are interested to watch Elizabeth's nude photos, I am damn sure about it," said Jo Elvin.
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He said "We have to be in a hurry to release those photos of Royal family's top. 99% I am sure that those photos are not of Queen Elizabeth's but if 1% chance we take then it is possible we will get a huge boost to our readership."

NASA confirmed Mars is only safe place for US Embassies

Posted by Diggy Chacha | | Posted in ,

NEWS IN BRIEF - WORLD
No Jihadi no Islam Extremist found on Mars - NASA Chief
NASA confirmed that only place in the universe where US embassy and Ambassadors along with their co-workers are safe is Mars.
"We are damn sure, though still we have not received proof till date that no Islam extremist lives on Mars. For that matter, we estimate that no person of Islam religion lives on Mars," said Waleed Abdalati, NASA's Chief Scientist.
The US space agency recently said that NASA's Curiosity rover, which landed on Mars more than a month ago, appears to be working "flawlessly" as it prepares to continue its two-year exploration of the Red Planet.
"Till date, we have not traced any Islam extremist, Jihadi or Al-Qaeda guy on Mars making the place secure and safe for American Embassy," said Waleed.
While he also told that according to Neil Armstrong's report surprisingly even on Moon no Jihadi resides, Mars is always a better destination to stay and set up the Embassy's office.
Waleed said "Actually, Mars has beautiful mountains, red colour sand and beautiful rivers. Moon is deserted so that we believe Mars is better alternative."
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The development came after Islam extremists continued to attack US Embassies almost in all countries on this planet. Recent attacks and protests were in Syria, Tunisia, Sudan, Lebanon, Yemen and Egypt making all the places for US Embassies unsafe.
NASA said that the success of the Mars voyage was that only. Now, at least on that planet US Ambassadors live safely.
US President congratulated NASA for the development and said "It is great to know that Jihadis don't live on Mars. We shall put a bill on setting up US Embassies on Mars in front of Congress."

Government confirmed that it had Watahari Churna before taking decisions on FDI in retail and aviation

Posted by Diggy Chacha | | Posted in , ,

TOP STORY - POLITICS, BUSINESS
Opposition parties alleged that it was Shilajit rather than Watahari Churna
After announcing all the big bang reforms, including FDI in multi brand retail and aviation the government confirmed that all the ministers had a series of Watahari Churna (Powder that releases gas and acidity from stomach and clears it) on Thursday.
"Actually, everybody had serious digestion issues. All of us were facing damn bad gastrick trouble and acidity that was the reason we were a bit slow in the reforms. However, Yoga Guru Baba Ramkisan suggested us to take his Watahari Churna to release all the stock that was collected over last years," said Janardan Dwivedi, a Senior Congress Leader.
He said "All the party members and ministers of UPA government, excluding TMC stood in a line and took the churn at a time and released the gases. We felt immensely free and clear after releasing gases and reducing acidity."
Baba Ramkisan confirmed that he was the one who suggested such churn to the government.
He said "Actually, for last few months I am keenly watching the developments. My rival Baba Ramdev was getting overboard and completely destroying the UPA government which was a sloth like paced on account of huge inventory of gases out of eating some currency, equities, foreign exchange, bonds and debentures, etc. So I thought to come forward and release the stomach related pressure of the ministers and senior leaders of the government."
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Congress Party Senior Leader Digvijay Singh told India Satire Correspondent "It was Baba Ramkisan who really made our day. Now we have empty stomachs and even Indians are. We now feel at par with the aam aadmis and therefore thought to fill the stomach by allowing FDI in retail and aviation. Plus government machinery will also start working at a super fast speed. The idea to approach Baba Ramkisan was entirely of Rahul Baba who was busy observing him for last few months."
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While the decision is going to create jobs and will improve public distribution system plus rationalisation of prices for end consumers, the opposition parties decided to attack on the ruling government in a different way.
BJP President Nitin Gadkari told media "Our sources had confirmed that it was not Watahari Churna but Viagra pills or Shilajit that Government had taken and showed this much of courage."
He observed that sudden rise in the enthusiasm and power is out of these two medicines only. He said "I am damn sure that government even possibly tried few steroids and want to know why CBI should not inquire about the sudden rise in the power of the government."
According to sources, Nitin Gadkari himself is planning to visit Baba Ramkisan to ask him about releasing gases and sudden rise in the power and enthusiasm. However, for what reason he was inquiring that the sources haven't disclosed.

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