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Buzzing Stocks: Hindustan Unilever

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Friday, 7 September 2012 | Posted in

BUZZING STOCKS
Hindustan Unilever's prices rose after it announced foray in micro irrigation project
Hindustan Unilever: BSE: 500696 | NSE: HINDUNILVR | BSE Sep 07 537.90 12.20 (+2.32%)
Share prices of Hindustan Unilever (HUL) rose sharply, after the company announced entry of Pure It into micro irrigation projects under its Rural India Shakti Programme.
The Micro Irrigation Pumps of Pure It would provide clean and pure water for plants. The company management expects that by providing pure water through micro irrigation pumps, plants will be clean and pure to eat directly. HUL claimed that 99.9% of all the bacterias would be removed through this project.
"Rural market is $1.8-trillion opportunity," said Chairman Harish Manwani.

Survey: 10% of Indians including Sonia Gandhi inadvertently call Marans as Morons

Posted by Diggy Chacha | | Posted in ,

SURVEY - POLITICS
Call is mostly innocent rather than deliberate
A survey conducted by an Independent Agency on pronunciations and actual words, 10% Indians explicitly but inadvertently calls Maran brothers as Moron brothers.

"There are many Indians, which are not able to pronounce English in English only call Marans in right way while few others which pronounce English in proper way call Maran brothers as Moron brothers. However, some people which live in Bengal and other eastern states region of India, who don't pronounce English in English (UK) also call Marans as Morons," said survey manager, Petersen Hawkins.
He said "It was shocking that even we found India's most powerful lady Sonia Gandhi also call Moron. She says Doyanidhi Moron while India's upcoming powerful lady Mamata Banerjee also calls Maran as Moron only."
The survey was conducted based on the key findings of the political speeches and actual coverage of some 8,924 people of India. More than 10% of people called it Moron.
Hawkins said "Actually, they didn't know whether they were talking about any person. Therefore, there was no major reason to think that they were abusing Maran brothers."
The agency also visited through Sonia Gandhi and Mamata Banerjee's speeches. They also scanned India's President Pranab Mukherjee who himself call Marans as Morons.
Dayanidhi and Kalanidhi Maran were unavailable to comment on the study. However, sources close to the brothers said "We also are quite amazed of the reason why people mispronounce the name. Earlier we had some misconception that people are really talking about something that is abusive. But this extensive survey just shows it was our misconception."
(The above article is not prepared for abusing any surname but to bring the pronunciation errors and fun that creates out of wrong pronunciation. Therefore, please take it lightly.)

Survey: 92% Indians were unaware that Sahara was private group and not Government company before the issue crop up

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Thursday, 6 September 2012 | Posted in , ,


SURVEY - BUSINESS, POLITICS
An Independent Survey conducted by Survey Monkey reveals that many Indians were unaware that Sahara Group companies were actually belonged to private promoters. 92% of Indians said that they thought that it was a Government owned group before Supreme Court made it clear.
Pradeep Sharma, Survey Manager of Survey Monkey said "Actually, 92% of 11,201 Indians along with me were totally out of an idea that Sahara Group was managed by some private sector guy who used to cheat them. These Indians were thinking that it is Government managed company and putting money in it is a kind of safe investment."
However, after Supreme Court’s order asking Subrata Roy’s Sahara Group to refund more than Rs 17,700 crore raised from 22 million small investors, the investors came to know that it was not such kind of safe investment.
“Yea high risk high return and we are going to get return of 15% every year since invested. However, this we didn’t know for sure. How cool,” said Rajesh Patel, newly joined investor in small investor category of India.
Survey Monkey along with Business World conducted an extensive survey of investors and non-investors in the group to know it that they didn't really know whether this company was not reporting to any minister in the UPA government.
"Every day I used to see Sahara's logo on Cricketer's jersey and the name Sahara looks like a name of a scheme that the Government announces. Therefore, I thought it was a government owned company and it will provide me safe returns," said Jogindar Singh from Punjab. "Therefore I poured some of my savings in this company."
Many people thought it would have been a good idea if they could have made a bit of inquiry before investing, as usual.
"Actually, I have a bit of idea and experience of scams too," said another investor in Sahara's bonds, Samir Joshi "Every time I invest and a scam comes out in that case and every time I learn a lesson that I should be more vigilant. However, 15% return is damn good."
The study revealed that even activist Arvind Kejriwal was not aware that Sahara was a private group and planned to protest against it for looting money of many small investors.
"Yes that's true, I wasn't aware about the same thing. I thought it was a Government company led by Prime Minister Manmohan Singh and planned to stage a protest against it. Fortunately, you asked me that question or otherwise I would have marched for a protest for nothing," said Arvind Kejriwal.

Buzzing Stocks: Bharti Airtel

Posted by Diggy Chacha | | Posted in ,

BUZZING STOCKS
Bharti Airtel stock price dropped 5 rupees after SP Tulsian confirmed that company's call center sucked his brain
Bharti Airtel: BSE: 532454 | NSE: BHARTIARTL | BSE Sep 06 252.45 -5.40 (-2.09%)
Prices of Bharti Airtel dropped sharply by 2%, after great analyst and Stock Guru SP Tulsian reduced weightage of stock on poor customer care services. Tulsian believed to be a subscriber of Airtel's mobile service, which sometimes stuck sometimes works. While he tried to complain customer care executive, he said it is company's policy and cut the phone.

Nokia to file anti patent law suit against Apple

Posted by Diggy Chacha | | Posted in , ,

NEWS IN BRIEF - WORLD, BUSINESS
Whatever Apple had developed was actually thought by Nokia that time
After watching Apple beat Samsung in a law suit, Nokia plans to file a legal case against Apple for violating its patents over last many years since its inception. Nokia strongly expects that it will win the case and all iPhones will become the anticipated to be developed N-Series Phones.
After announcing two Windows Phone 8 devices, the Lumia 920 and Lumia 820 smartphones at a combined press event with Microsoft held in New York on Wednesday, Nokia CEO Stephen Elop said that the company will file the case against Apple as soon as possible.
"We are in a legal talk and would immediately pull Apple down to the US courts. They are violating our expected product development in phones for over last 7-8 years since they launched iPhone and we demand all the revenues they earned through that product to move to Nokia," said Elop.
He said "Actually whatever they developed as iPhone, that we were going to develop at Nokia. That time our scientists and researchers thought of developing something that can be touched by fingers and few games would be opened also net would be accessed. However, Apple theft our entire idea, and they first develop that product."
After introduction Apple's iPhone, Nokia is way beyond in the markets as the users are dumping these phones and buying iPhone or Samsung phones. However, as Samsung is now lost player, Nokia revived its strategy to kill iPhone from its competition.
S P Iyengar, telecom strategist and gadget guru said "Nokia's move was shocking, I never knew that the company was intelligent too. If Apple had theft its originality then it was totally an unethical thing."
Nokia said that it also planned to develop PCs in 1950s which had greater look and best as user friendly. However, this idea was also theft by Apple and now it has to make phones by using idiotic Windows Operating System.

Breaking News: Manmohan Singh found eating Chole Bhature in a dhaba in Delhi as like a poor construction labor

Posted by Diggy Chacha | | Posted in ,

TOP STORY - POLITICS
India Satire correspondent also issued a clipping of short interview with Dr. Singh
India Satire correspondent found India's Prime Minister Manmohan Singh in Dara's Dhaba, a dhaba located between Delhi-Gurgaon road while eating chole bhature as like a poor labor is eating the stuff.
"It was shocking, I can see him eating chole bhature with emotional and sentimental expressions on his face," said an official of Prime Minister's Office (PMO) urging not to disclose his identity.
He said "I can sense him look like a poor labor that just after hard work has seated in a dhaba to eat some spicy stuff. Look at expressions on his face; he looks very insipid and burdened."
While the government took a defensive stand describing the situation of Dr. Singh as a sucked baby by opposition party leaders, BJP denied all the allegations and said that he doesn't look like sucked baby but a baby whose tummy has expanded after the coal block allocations.
BJP leader Shahnawaj Hussain marked a pointer on the photo where Dr. Singh's tummy looked abnormally wide.
He said "Look at this he doesn't look like a construction worker, as you Congress paid guy trying to show. He looks quite healthy out of eating lots of butter naans and butter roties made on coal based gas. I am sure that this dhabewala was also allocated a coal block and chole bhature also made of the coal based gas only."
However, Congress party denied all the allegations and said that it was out of obesity which has been developed in Prime Minister because of BJP Party's irrelevant claims.
"That is shocking yaar, we also didn't watch it carefully. But the increase in his waist line looks like out of obesity due to late night sleep, eating junk food and stressed out for entire day and night," said Congress Senior Leader Salman Khurshid.
Khurshid also told correspondent "See how poor he looks like. He looks very much like a construction labor that is paid just 20 rupees per day. See how much happy he is eating chole bhature, as like he is eating that dish after a many years."

When Correspondent asked Khurshid that any measures government is taking to reduce Singh's weight and make him somewhat happy, Khurshid said "After watching the photograph, Madamji took an urgent meeting and appointed a one man commission under the guidance of Food Minister."
Khurshid also disclosed that the case is now under Human Rights Commission, which is going to make a thorough study over Dr. Singh why do he look so poor, unhealthy and sucked up.
India Satire correspondent issued few exclusive photographs of Manmohan Singh in Dara's dhaba. The correspondent also had a short interview with Singh.
Interview
Correspondent: Dr. Singh, what do you think about India's current economic situation?
Dr. Singh: Mmmmmmmm... (Murmur)
Correspondent: Why are you eating chole bhature here? And why your shirt looks so cheap and why are you looking a construction worker?
Dr. Singh: Mmmmmmmm... (Murmur)
Correspondent: Where is Soniaji?
Dr. Singh: She is at Janpath.
Correspondent: What is she doing?
Dr. Singh: Oye she must be having serious chat with BJP leaders on how not to suck my brains.
Correspondent: Is it regarding coal blocks?
Dr. Singh: Mmmmmmmm... (Murmur)
Correspondent: So do you think there is any kind of correlation between coal issues and India's inflation?
Dr. Singh: Mmmmmmmm... (Murmur)
Correspondent: Why don't you answer questions?
Dr. Singh: Oye jaata hai ki nahi yahaa se. Mujhe cholle aur bhatture jaldise khaane de. Madamji bulaati hongi.

Narendra Modi charged for forgetting his hanky in his bathroom

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Wednesday, 5 September 2012 | Posted in ,

TOP STORY - POLITICS
Central Government announced a CBI inquiry and asked Modi to take the responsibility
Gujarat's Chief Minister Narendra Modi is charge sheeted for forgetting his handkerchief (rumaal) in his bathroom. Finding his irresponsible nature and opposition's uproar along with wide coverage of Indian media, the Central Government announced a CBI inquiry.
"I couldn't have thought earlier that forgetting my hanky would have caused me so much pain," said regretted Narendra Modi who was already bashed by UPA and media after Supreme Court almost reached there to consensus to expose his alleged involvement in Gujarat riot case.
He said "I feel really idiotic for forgetting my hanky in my bathroom and which received so much wider coverage across the nation."
The news first leaked by CNN IBN, when senior Editor Rajdeep Sardesai himself visited through Modi's bathroom in sting operation. Sources said that his sweeper, Ramlal was the first to inform Sardesai. However, Ramlal denied all the allegations.
"I was there in his bathroom just after he bathed and move to his office. I scanned through entire room and found out a neat, clean and well pressed handkerchief lying on the floor," said Rajdeep Sardesai.
He said "I congratulate my cameraman and another guy in his house who is mostly secular and supported us throughout the operation."
"The entire saga when CNN IBN reported on its news channel, it received wide coverage and requests for the video of sting operation," said CNN IBN's Senior manager, "NDTV and Times NOW requested the clippings with offering the good sum of money."
Opposition parties of Gujarat created ruckus on the entire episode and asked Narendra Modi to resign from his post.
"When you are so irresponsible guy that you forget your hanky which too is well pressed, how will you manage the entire state properly?" asked Keshubhai Patel, ex-Chief Minister of Gujarat and rival of Narendra Modi.
He said "Modi should resign from his post for doing such heinous activity."
Congress Party's senior leader Digvijay Singh said "I know Narendra Modi's ancestors, they were from tribal regions of Somalia where already hanky is used as cloth and protect important hidden organ. But Modi's irresponsible act only shows that he doesn't really care for the value of that cloth."
While Gujarat Police filed a case against Modi as an irresponsible person, electricity regulator is planning to charge for using energy to press the handkerchief while Environment Minister Jayanthi Natarajan said that the case should also be filed under the immensely wasting useful and necessary resources.
Considering the intensity of the matter, the Central Government handed over the case to CBI.

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