Indian Post, a Government body for delivering letters, couriers and money orders at cheap costs decided to restructure its working. The Post has taken criticisms over its late delivery of intimation over Afzal Guru's execution to his family very seriously.

"We are serious now. Whatever happened in the past is past and we assure you that Indian Post will be wholly restructured body. We are going to reduce the time line of speed post by at least 75% by appointing a special squad," said Indian Postal Service Chief, Manjula Prashar in an exclusive interview with the India Satire Correspondent.

Recently in a major event, Indian Postal Services lost its face when it delivered speed post intimating Afzal Guru's execution 2 days after he was hanged.

Prashar said "It is difficult to implement new ideas and techniques very fast. However, immediately after the criticisms we appointed KPMG as consultant. They advised us to appoint special squad of Pigeons. We are planning to take help from foreign countries and will buy specially trained pigeons for this critical job. Final announcement will come in next one month."

Share price of Domino's Pizza India franchise, Jubilant Foodworks rose sharply after a rumour flashed in the market that the company offered a free pizza for every investor who buys its share today. The company offered one pizza for 5 shares driving the volume of the stock on both the BSE and the NSE. The stock price reported 1mn volume on the BSE and 4mn on the NSE with a sharp rise of over 9%.

 

Jubilant Foodworks

BSE: 533155 | NSE: JUBLFOOD | ISIN: INE797F01012 | SECTOR: MISCELLANEOUS

 

BSE

Feb 06, 15:58

1137.00

96.25 (+9.25%)

VOLUME  1,064,706

 

After a heart-warming meeting with the rape victim Nirbhaya's parents in Delhi, Congress President Sonia Gandhi asked Ministers to include a special clause in New Rape Law Ordinance that she along with her son Rahul would compulsorily meet each and every rape victim and their parents of the nation.

"I think this way only we will show equality towards sharing the pain of every rape victims of the nation," said Sonia Gandhi in her statement after meeting with Nirbhaya's parents.

She said "Nirbhaya is not the only girl who faced such monstrous activity of rape but every day many Indian girls go from this worst and life taking experience. Now enough is enough, I finally have decided that along with Raul Baba, I will take retirement from politics and will meet each and every girl or woman and her parents till all the rape incidents stop. I also promise of distributing flat to each girl her parents along with cash of Rs 25-30 lakh from my own pocket till I become beggar."

Rahul Gandhi who is known for his selfless work towards the nation and who also expressed his eagerness to give his life to India said that he would be very happy if every day he shares the sorrows of the girls and their parents who face such heinous activity.

"I have no ambition of becoming Prime Minister of India. I am a selfless guy and have nothing to take from anybody. I am with Mummy on this. I am along with all the young Congress leaders and Mummy too will visit each and every girl who faces rape."

Talking on their decision, Senior Congress leader Digvijay Singh said "Even today onwards all the Congress leaders have taken decision. Everybody will resign from their jobs as Madamji and Baba has taken such saintly decision. We assure you all guys that we will also stop raping your minds and brains."

However, the Congress sources are yet to confirm whether Sonia and Rahul's meetings with rape victims are till 2014 elections.

In a totally unexpected move, Congress leader Digvijay Singh lashed out at Muslim Clerics who released a fatwa against Muslim girls performing in a rock band. He took on Muslim Spiritual leaders so much that his head became heavier and hotter and finally blasted to throw everything out.

"I condemn a RSS like stand of Muslim clerics on opposing young girls for performing in a rock band. I am very angry on this fatwa. Very, very angry," said Digvijay Singh had no experience of condemning any of moves made by Muslims till date.

He said "Today, my head is getting hotter. All Muslim clerics should be secular and more and more tolerant. Oh no what is happening to my head it is hot like iron rod. You all Muslim Clerics don't behave like RSS guys otherwise I will not call you seculars."

Suddenly, Digvijay Singh's head became red hot and gas was started releasing and finally immediately it blasted throwing everything from his brain.

According to Delhi Police, Digvijay Singh was carrying some 15kg of RDX in his brain that was blasted when his head became hot. Police also said they are trying to understand why Digvijay Singh's head suddenly blasted.

Winter season, which is popular for basic human activities of transmitting seeds from man to woman and produce children, is going to end. This terrible season has seen lot of activities, indoor and outdoor locations of India.

After announcing him as a Vice President of India Cements, the company Chief and BCCI President N Srinivasan showed interest in creating Concrete Statue of Mahendra Singh Dhoni. The statue is in line with the idea of Madame Tussauds - wax statue of famous world personalities.

"Nobody in the history has received such an honour to get scripted in beautiful and redolent concrete of India Cements. That honour we want to give it to Dhoni as well," said Srinivasan.

He said "I already started giving such kind of honours to Dhoni in the Indian cricket team. I made it possible for him to stick to the position of Indian Cricket team Captain just by giving him some concrete to eat made by India Cements. Now we are going to construct a white colour Concrete statue just like what Madame Tussaud does in London with people like Sachin Tendulkar, Amitabh Bachchan and Shahrukh Khan."

The management of the company said that the statue will be located at the gate of India Cements head office.

"We think that the gate would be best place and it would give a longevity to the statue, as it may be possible we shift the office to some other place but statue would remain there only," said Deputy incharge of statue related project, Bala Ramchandran.

He said "We are going to make statue so perfect that even by mistake some birds poo on the statue, it would be automatically cleaned."

Mahendra Singh Dhoni said that it was his honour that India Cements identified talent in him and thought of making statue.

"I will give perfect expression for the statue," said Mahendra Singh Dhoni "Or they can even take my photographs while I am wicket keeping."