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Buzzing Stocks: Infosys

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Wednesday, 5 September 2012 | Posted in

BUZZING STOCKS
Stock price of Infosys declined more than 1% after the company management for 10,229th time said that it will consider acquisition
Infosys: BSE: 500209 | NSE: INFY | BSE Sep 05, 2338.45 -23.95 (-1.01%)

Stock price of Infosys tumbled by more than 1%, after CFO, V Balakrishnan said that the company is open for acquisition for 10,229th time in last 6 years.

I am not a dickhead to become Prime Minister, he he he - Nitish Kumar

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Monday, 3 September 2012 | Posted in ,

NEWS IN BRIEF - POLITICS
Kingmaker's job is perfect for him
Nitish Kumar confirmed that he is not a dickhead to become a prime minister of India after his colleague Sushil Kumar Modi said that Nitish is eligible to become Prime Minister.
Nitish Kumar in a bizarre response to the query made by India Satire Correspondent said "I am not fuc*ing idi*t to take that position which is just like a banana sucked by any road side guy. It is damn irritating position. I can't imagine myself becoming a really bad damn dic*head just to show that I am a Prime Minister of India."
India is facing dicey situation on the choice of Prime Minister after 2014. Many candidates are already lined up to marry the seat, however, Nitish said that he was ready for sacrificing this position to some idi*t dic*head and a*shole who will manage this job on his terms.
"Soniaji is my role model. She just gave me a gist of the real spiritual happiness by sacrificing best position of India and remain as a King Maker," said Nitish Kumar "I want to become King Maker."
Currently, Rahul Gandhi, Narendra Modi, Mulayam Singh Yadav and Lalkrishna Advani are told as the expected candidates of Prime Minister of India. Sources said that P A Sangma also lined up for the candidature after his failure in President's Election.

Buzzing Stocks: Dish TV

Posted by Diggy Chacha | | Posted in

BUZZING STOCKS
Dish TV rose against falling Sensex after the company announced that it removed Shahrukh Khan from its promotions
Dish TV: BSE: 532839 | NSE: DISHTV | BSE Sep 03, 68.50 2.55 (+3.94%)
Dish TV rose sharply today in the falling equity markets as the company told that it removed Shahrukh Khan as its brand ambassador. Dish TV said in its statement that Shahrukh Khan's payment is more than half of the total cost of the company and after removing him from its brand promotions the company will start making profits for the first time in the history.

Survey: 89% Indians think Parliamentary sessions are reality shows rest thinks properly directed serials with episodes

Posted by Diggy Chacha | | Posted in ,

SURVEY: POLITICS
Serial audience confirmed that Sas bahu serials have greater entertainment value
A survey conducted by on Survey Monkey suggested that most of the Indians think that Indian Parliamentary sessions are weird reality shows with lack of humour and tasteless.

"Tracking reality shows should generally be difficult as those are totally unpredictable. But India's reality shows are quite predictable and boring. We know that Indian Government would not able to run the session from the first day only and we also know what the climax is," said famous adGuru and socialite Suhel Seth.
The survey was conducted by India Today with the help of Survey Monkey with 17924 respondents gave their votes.
"We asked people whether they really get entertained by Parliamentary Session, what do they think is Parliamentary session and what is the entertainment value and humour quotient of the sessions," said Pradip Sinha, a survey organiser.
He said "Most of the respondents think that Indian Parliamentary sessions are reality shows with continuity of issues which were discussed in the last session. Only few issues come into light in the current session."
A deeper analysis of the Survey by India Satire Research Team (ISRT) suggested that the lack of entertainment value was leading to broadcasters refusing the session showing in prime time.
"We understood that Satyamev Jayate could have become boring and therefore we gave it a time slot of 11 am on Sunday instead of time slot of evening," said STAR India CEO Uday Shankar.
He said "From initial levels only, we knew that Aamir Khan's programme was boring but what could we have done as he was famous star and as like MPs he thought he was a damn good entertainer. Therefore, we offered him off Prime Time Slot on Sunday."
The survey results created a serious debate among the politicians and prominent personalities, who were earlier used to think that sessions are clearly good in generating humour and fun.
"This is shocking. Now it is responsibility of other MPs, particularly opposition party leaders to put in some humour and a bit of tadka in the sessions. Make them unpredictable like Sushma can dance and Lalkrishna can sing," said Congress senior leader Digvijay Singh.
He was a bit concerned that absenteeism of Rahul Gandhi in many Parliamentary sessions also makes them boring.
He said "Rahul Baba is hot cake in all Indian girls and aunties. To attract that crowd I demand Rahulji to attend all the sessions and take active part in discussing the Parliamentary topics."
Digvijay Singh's demand for greater role of Rahul Gandhi in the Parliamentary session received greater support from a great audience of many other Congress Party leaders.
The Survey also said that 11% were assuming that Parliamentary Sessions are well articulated serials where Ruling Party, Allies and Opposition Parties are politicizing useless issues as like saas bahu serials.
"I thought everybody in Parliament was thinking how to torture bahu Manmohan Singh on paltry coal issue and 2G issues while another bahu Soniaji sometimes come to the rescue. However, on the other side the other bahu Soniaji is actually pushing Manmohan Singh towards the hungry opposition leaders. Damn good theme and idea. I love that," said Rajan Pillai, serial Serial watcher and analyst of mainstream serials.
However, Rajan Pillai confirmed that daily Sas bahu serials have greater drama and real thriller than Parliamentary programmes.

Third front to allocate all the coal blocks to all Indian households if it wins 2014 elections - Mulayam Singh Yadav

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Sunday, 2 September 2012 | Posted in ,

NEWS IN BRIEF - POLITICS
Coal to be used for chulla – Third Front Manifesto
After playing his third front card along with CPM, CPI and TDP, on burning coal issue Mulayam Singh Yadav announced the joint manifesto of the third front, which promises a distribution of coal block to every Indian household at free of cost.

"Mujhe aaj bhi meri maataji ki yaad aati hai jo koyle ke chulle pe seki hui tasty roti khilati thi (sob sob, 2 tears drop from his eyes). Par ye Congressi government ne jab se koyla company waaloko koyla baata hai tabse hamaare naseeb me gas ki roti khaana hai. Lekin ye third front waada karta hai ki har Hindustani ko chulle pe bani roti khaane ko milegi (Third front promises that every Indian will get chance to eat bread baked on coal based burner)," announced Mulayam Singh Yadav.
He shouted from his nostrils that third front will allocate all the coal to every Indian household so that people will shift from useless and tasteless gas to coal based chulla.
CPM leader Prakash Karat supported Mulayam Singh's statement, he said "Both these Congrss and BJP are different sides of same coin and threw Indian people in the hands of corporates. We also have right to use coal for our betterment. I would say that besides our big brother China, nobody else has better technology to manage using coal. I support Mulayamji in distributing coal to all Indians using a good reservation tool so that everybody can taste coal based roti and sabzi."

Buzzing Stocks: Bajaj Auto

Posted by Diggy Chacha | | Posted in , ,

BUZZING STOCKS
Bajaj Auto rose sharply after Government passed a law that every MP will come by Bajaj Pulsar to Parliament instead of Bullet Proof Car
Bajaj Auto: BSE: 532977 | NSE: BAJAJ-AUTO | BSE Sep 03, 1648.00 32.60 (+2.02%)
Bajaj Auto rose today after Indian Government announced Bajaj Pulsar to every Member of Parliament instead of Bullet Proof Car to better cost minimisation to reduce fiscal deficit and higher mileage, Hamara Bajaj.

Digvijay Singh found in history when he was resting for last few months

Posted by Diggy Chacha | | Posted in ,

Diggy Chacha felt funny watching Sushma's
ancestor dancing cha-cha-cha
TOP STORY - POLITICS
Digvijay Singh said Raj Thackeray is actually Bangladeshi who migrated from Bihar to Mumbai
Senior Congress Leader, Digvijay Singh found in history, some 1000-2000 years back, discusses the different ancestors of many known and popular personalities of India and World. He was actually studying the history after a compulsory rest offered by Congress Party after UP election to suit his health. It was a prestigious project of Congress, which was to understand why weirdly all these political party leaders behave.
"Knowing Raj Thackeray's ancestors is a small thing and I know about many people," said Digvijay Singh who was earlier busy with mentoring India's future Prime Minister Rahul Gandhi.
He said "My only concern is to know what history tells about different people and where are the genes come from. That way I would understand the behavioral pattern of many leaders, personalities and celebrities."
In an interview with India Satire Correspondent, Digvijay Singh discussed about the ancestors of many popular personalities.  He told correspondent that he also met
Talking about few other personalities, Digvijay Singh said "Now look at Sushma Swaraj her ancestors came from Honolulu, which is famous for dancing and singing cha-cha-cha, jazz and rock music. I was over there Sushma's great great great grandfather also showed me dancing by putting tree leafs on his waste. Tik tick cha cha cha, tick tick cha cha cha. It was a fun. Last year I saw Sushma was dancing in the same style at Rajghat."
Digvijay Singh also talked about Nitin Gadkari, whom he considers his competitor in terms of intelligence level and understanding of the things in better way. He said "Nitinji's ancestors came from Mogadishu of Somalia where no junk food is available. Actually no food is available. And that is why he is eating after every 2-3 minutes. He is hungry for many births."
Digvijay Singh made a detailed search on Congress Personalities as well. He said "Rahul Baba's ancestors are from Mathura who after some point of time visited to Italy. Actually his great great great grandfather was devotee of Krishna and lower great grandfather was devotee of Jesus and further lower great grandfather was Paigambar's shishya making him great secular personality in the world. His Papa was dedicated to great Italian personality Soniaji (Diggyji chuckled)."
Again coming back to real issue, Digvijay Singh said "Actually, I was half true while making comment on Raj Thackeray's ancestors. His ancestors actually migrated from Bangladesh to Bihar and then went to Mumbai. That is why he is actually Bangladeshi turned Bihari."

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