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Pakistan court rejects 26/11 incident itself said it was movie footage

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Tuesday, 17 July 2012 | Posted in , ,

NEWS IN BRIEF – POLITICS, TERRORISM, FOREIGN RELATIONS
Judge said the media footage of the incident was a ditto copy of Mithun's one of the movies
After rejecting the Mumbai attack report, Pakistani Court rejected 26/11 Mumbai attack in totality itself, claiming that it was 'B' Grade Bollywood movie footage.
On Tuesday, a Pakistani anti-terrorism court said the attack has no real evidences as the commission members were not invited to cross-certify the attack when it happened. The court said the members had to have presented at the time of the attack.
Judge said that just a few days back he watched a Mithun Chakraborty's 'B' Grade movie which had similar kind of stunts and actions which the television footage showed.
Judge said "I believe it must be similar to those footage in which Mithun was hitting on the noses of Pakistani terrorists. He threw 5 terrorists at a time from the hotel room. The movie was banned in Pakistan because an Indian hero was shown hitting hard Pakistani people. But coincidently I watched that movie and the truth came in front of me."
Ten gunmen stormed luxury hotels, a train station and a Jewish center in Mumbai, India's financial hub, in November of 2008, killing 166 people. The lone surviving gunman has been sentenced to death.
India blamed the Pakistan-based militant group Lashkar-e-Taiba for the three-day siege. It claims the attacks were carried out with state support from Pakistan — a charge denied by Islamabad.

Copy of Indo-Pak Foreign Secretary talks leaked

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Thursday, 5 July 2012 | Posted in

LEAKED - FOREIGN RELATIONS
Pakistan provided list of terrorists to help it to curb catching terrorists
The Indo-Pak Foreign Secretary level talks ended on Thursday morning with Pakistan proposing a joint investigation into the 26/11 Mumbai carnage and categorically stating that Pakistan has not been involved in any terror act in India.

India Satire has received a leaked copy of the entire conversation between Pakistan's Foreign Secretary Jalil Jilani (Jilani) and India's Foreign Secretary Ranjan Mathai (Mathai). Following is the transcript of the entire conversation.
Jilani: Hi Mithai how are you? It seems you have put on a bit, feels like you eat mithai a lot.... he he he... he he he... he he he...
Mathai (irritated tone when laugh continued to go on): Hey Jilebi I am not Mithai, my surname is Mathai... call me respectfully.
Jilani: Oh I am sorry Mathai ji.. so Khush aam did... How are you?
Mathai: Fine I am! so forget all these things we shall come to the point.
Jilani: Ok as you wish. So tell me when are you going to send that Abu Jundal to Pakistan?
Mathai: What? Why should we send him to your country?
Jilani: Oh I think we have met here to extraditate terrorists and most wanted people n. Therefore, to stop terrorist activities I am asking to send Jundal to Pakistan. A lot of investigations we have to do.
Mathai: But for terrorist attack in Mumbai why do you want investigate? Better you send most wanted to India so that we can expedite our process.
Jilani: What? How can we cooperate with you if you don't send Jundal and those 40 Indians to Pakistan? We want to know how did this Jundal catch up by Saudi Police. You see Osama was there for more than 10 years in Pakistan still US could not recognize. We want to study what happened to Jundal, how did he catch up? Also send those 40 Indians which would help us further
in the investigation.
Mathai: How?
Jilani: See boss, we shall study Jundal properly and keep those 40 in cold storage so that neither of them would get out of Pakistan. We have huge amount of spendings on defence so they can leave peacefully over there.
Mathai: Suckss... I am here to discuss about the terrorists and most wanted people in Pakistan to get here and you are playing other game.
Jilani: Who told you that we have all those terrorists and most wanted. Are you an a$$hole?
Mathai: Look boss you are crossing your limits. We have all the evidences that these terrorists supported by ISI and Pakistan Army so shut your mouth and straight a way agree to the point send us those useless buggars over here.
Jilani: We shall discuss about that list next time. So shall we discuss on the cooperation treaty between India and Pakistan?
Mathai: You loser.
Jilani: He he he... (announced to media) So we have achieved a new land mark of cooperation and both the countries have agreed to fight against terrorism together. India is also committed to stop terrorist activities and will be considering of handing over those 40 Indians along with Abu Jundal to Pakistan.
Mathai: We had a frank and constructive discussion. Dialogue has contributed to a better understanding. While we do not agree on all issues, we do agree that relationships have to be normalised and also I hope Jilani's predecessor at least will start productive dialogue.

Indian government announced 'Dada Kondke' award in line with Dadasaheb Phalke award for contribution to double meaning dialogues

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Thursday, 14 June 2012 | Posted in

TOP STORY - POLITICS
Hillary Clinton was selected as a first recipient of the award
In line with most prestigious Dadasaheb Phalke award, Indian government lauched Dada Kondke award for double meaning dialogues to all world famous celebrities and politicians and it decided to give the first award to Hillary Clinton. This award will be the last one to be distributed by India's President Pratibha Patil.

"Dada Kondke was the master in double meaning dialogues and nobody has picked his hands till date. We came to conclusion that he should be honored by naming a double meaning dialogue award after him it would also honor ourselves," said India's Ambika Soni, India's Minister of Information & Broadcasting.
She confirmed that the award will be equal to India's best cinema award, Dadasaheb Phalke Award and will be distributed to all the people whether in India or in the world who passes vulgar statements.
The Dadasaheb Phalke Award is India's highest award in cinema given annually by the Government of India for lifetime contribution to Indian cinema.
She said "While we read the news about Hillary making some double meaning statement in US, then thought that it would be the best time to announce such award. Hillary Clinton has a good track record of passing vulgar statements, ask Obama."
She also told that she had overnight chat with SM Krishna who confirmed the development that Hillary passed a vulgar statement.
US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton told media that India-US relationship is an "affair of the heart" and her commitment to it has not diminished in any way with its 'ups and downs'.
"With respect to affairs of the heart, they usually have ups and downs," she said amidst laughter at a joint press conference with Indian External Affairs Minister SM Krishna at the end of the third edition of India-US strategic dialogue.
SM Krishna told reporters in US that it was confirmed that Hillary would get most hilarious award of India and it would really help improving India's relations with the US.

After saying that ties with India are an ‘affair of the heart’, Hillary Clinton confirmed no immediate plans to sex with Indian diplomats

Posted by Diggy Chacha | | Posted in

NEWSWIRE
SM Krishna was expressionless
 
(US Secretary of State and most hilarious lady of USA, Hillary Clinton confirmed that India-US relationship is an "affair of the heart" and her commitment to it has not diminished in any way with its ups and downs.
"With respect to affairs of the heart, they usually have ups and downs," she said amidst laughter at a joint press conference with Indian External Affairs Minister S.M. Krishna at the end of the third edition of India-US strategic dialogue. However, before dialogue turned evil she immediately told that she has no immediate plans of having sex with Indian foreign diplomats and right now happy with masturbation.
While media correspondents tried to gather all the face expressions of SM Krishna, they came to know it was as usual expressionless.)

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