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Book Review: India's struggle in innovation - From Zero to Zero Loss Theory (Arya Bhatt to Pt. Kapil Sibal)

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Friday, 23 March 2012 | Posted in

 

A tragedy that transpired into revolution - Kapil Sibal


BOOK REVIEW 


Book Review: India's struggle in innovation - From Zero to Zero Loss Theory

From Arya Bhatt to Pt. Kapil Sibal

Author - Kapil Sibal

CATEGORY - NON-FICTION

Presentation ceremony
In an action-packed presentation ceremony, Pandit Kapil Sibal launched his book India's struggle in innovation - From Zero to Zero Loss Theory, in front of Madamji, Rahul Baba, Manmohan Singh and many more prominent personalities.

Synopsis
India, a golden bird with strong roots of culture and tradition and one of the oldest creative societies in the world is now struggling to get its rhythm back. Author Pt. Kapil Sibal, a known scientist and innovative mind explores the reasons for this struggle. He answers the question why India couldn't give anything to the world after zero and till zero loss theory. He tries to answer why there is the gap between innovation of zero and zero loss theory to the world. Finally, he arrives at the answer that between zero and zero loss theory there was a big zero in the brains of Indians which he tried fill up by introducing such marvelous concepts.

Inside book he also tells a shocking truth that he was Aryabhata in previous birth and he had to take a birth again to fill the gap for betterment of Indian society.

This is a long awaited book in India which throws the light on the 2G scam based zero loss theory. Author Kapil Sibal doesn't disappoint the readers and gives all the answers to their questions.

Contents

This book is divided into 4 chapters with a preface. Preface is important to read.

Preface

Readers should read preface of the book against their universal perception of avoiding it for the reason of boredom. The preface throws light on different contributions of Pt. Kapil Sibal to the world and particularly to India. As everybody is aware, Sibal innovated a new theory which converted Rs1.76lakh crore of loss to exchequer into zero loss, he is also known for his contribution of supplying 'no' touch screen tablet $35 for poor Indians. He was the only guy who challenged American, Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) for the innovation of $100 computer and produced $35 tablet to Indians, an almost free creation. Though, many people recorded cases of finger swollen by hard to press touch screen, his innovation quotient doesn't take backside.

Panditjee has 220 IQ which is proven by American super computer, Cray XK6. He also recorded many wins and zero losses in playing chess against world's all super computers.

Chapter I - India's struggle in innovation - From Zero to Zero Loss Theory

Pandit Sibal takes you to the ride of old Indian era where Aryabhata was living in a hut and fighting with his wife over whether he should clean the clothes or she. However, the fight took a historic turn when Aryabhata told his wife that there would be zero loss if she cleans the house and a big loss if he cleans it up. That way the zero was innovated.

Sibal revealed that he was himself Aryabhata and that's why he remembers that event and now he was reincarnated, reposted and reinstated into Kapil Sibal to fill the wide gap of innovation in the thirsty India.
In this chapter, Kapil also took us through how he came to know that actually the loss was zero. Sibal said "I told TRAI scientists to take a base figure as 'zero', as everything in the world becomes zero and make entire calculations. They give me zero figure."

However, Sibal also pointed out that besides these two theories, India lacks innovation. Nothing has been innovated or invented and gives final remark that he feels very sad for looking at India's situation. He also thrashed over the nature of Indian society which doesn't embrace creative ideas like internet censorship and cheap tablet PCs.

Chapter II - Why there is a gap and why will it remain?

Sibal doesn't stop in explaining the root of his theories in his previous birth and existing birth but also gives genuine reasons why India lacked innovation and will remain forever. He said after innovating zero, India transpired into zero brain and therefore no innovation took place while today's India have full of id*io*tic comments writer on Facebook, Twitter and Google who have no job but to f*ck whatever Indian politicians do and therefore wasting all their time into fuc*ing our brains will ensure that India will have no innovation.

Chapter III - Solutions suggested by Pandit Kapil Sibal

In his book, he said it was totally rubbish to expect them to innovate something. He said that he tried to launch a totally new idea of internet censorship which these anti-social elements totally trashed.

Kapil Sibal said in his book "I don't expect these kind of idi*ts to choose path of humbleness, politeness and soft-spoken attitude like me. These arrogant bug*ers require to put on platform and hit their a$$es with steel rod. Deep m*rons s*ale."

Chapter IV - Anatomy of Injustice

Pandit Kapil Sibal keeps his cool while writing the book. However, reader can go in depth of Sibal's mind which breathes with the injustice that he faced from the Indian society. This chapter entirely draws the attention of the reader towards the injustice with Kapil Sibal.

Language quality

The language is as superiorly funny. Sibal himself censored the book and wherever there is some abusive (sorry dis-abusive word) he himself gave a star mark. However, a lot of stars make this book reading complicated.

Summary

Interestingly, boring Sibal hardly gets boring in this book. He takes us to a journey from his last birth (he provides photograph of a painting) as Aryabhata and also explains how the gap of innovation in Indian society hurts. He also make tragic remarks on the refusal to accept his innovations which include zero loss theory (size zero for heroines also came in his tenure), $35 tablet and internet censorship.

About Author

Kapil Sibal is honoured as a Pandit by Indian Fools Association for his immense contribution through innovative theories and ideas to the Indian society.
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53% of Indian population has ‘No-Class’ – Montek Singh Ahluwalia

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Wednesday, 21 March 2012 | Posted in


DCFC SURVEY

An aspiring category between below and above poverty line has serious dilemma over improving or deteriorating their classes

Montek Singh Ahluwalia (Monty), the deputy chairman of Planning Commission has seriously put a question mark on 53% of India's total population to decide their class. Government has named this class as 'No-Class' with no purpose.

"This class is neither middle class nor lower class, it has no-class," said demographics expert Nishant Pande, "Monty has really made people a bit confused over their classes."

Sadashankar Gosavi who works on daily wages of Rs100 per day while he is a sole earner of his family of 5 was confused over his status.
Rupee banned for No-Class

Gosavi said "What would I be? Am I into BPL category or am I in above poverty line category? Shall I call myself a rich or poor or middle class?"

Interestingly, India Beggars Association (IBA) also trashed out Monty's theory of Rs29 per day income qualify to below poverty line.

Talking to Diggy Chacha Fan Club (DCFC) reporter, President of IBA, Ramkisen Tripathi said "Hum 50-60 rupaiyaah to aisen hi kamaa let hai din kaa to kaa hum amir huye? Wo Monty sathiyaa gayaa hai. Gudbag kahi kaa."

India's APL beggar
Ramkisen Tripathi said "Eee Montywaa ki theory to u Sibal gudbag ke shunya nuksaan (zero-loss theory) theory se bhi badtar hai." 

Mckinsey analyst, Chatur Aiyer said "This way I believe our dream to make Mumbai poverty free is fulfilled. Based on Monty's ideas Mumbai's beggars can be categorized into high income group. Funny thought process of 
Planning Commission. I suggest government to outsource work from most respected organization of Arindam Chaudhuri's Planman Commission."
India's superman Planman

Survey suggests India's middle class population is 14% while rich class is 3% and now Planning Commission estimates 30% population is below poverty line so question arises about rest 53% people who squeezed between above and below poverty lines.

Talks are going on that this aspiring 53% of population will form its organization and would ask for reservation from the government under No-Class category.
India's No Class Wonder

"Yea that's a great idea. I would love to understand the system of castes and religions in this income group so that Congress will pitch for reservation and would attract great voters for 2014 elections," said Chacha Digvijay Singh.

S. Ramalingam who is doing survey on India's income distribution rubbished the idea of calling this class as No-Class and asked Monty to giver rationality to his job.

"What the hell? This is really an idiotic idea. If a person is sole wage earner in a family and earns 50 rupees per day, his family should qualify for below poverty line status. Boss Monty, take 100 rupees from me every day for next 1 month and show us that you can live on it. Monty your Paneer costs Rs65 per paav kilo."

However, supporting Monty's claims, Sibal Uncle said "Whatever criticism is going on is totally bull*hit and I believe there is a zero loss for government whether to accept Rs 29 as BPL or Rs 290 as BPL."

Animal lovers, particularly dog lover, Maneka Gandhi said "Ha ha ha, my dog, Jocky's chicken costs more than 100 rupees per kg. Funny Monty! Shut up Jocky…"

However, Monty was rigid on his claims. He said "Planning Commission is a responsible organisation and we have target to eradicate poverty by 2020. Our next target for below poverty line would be Rs15 per person per month so that almost whole poverty line would be eradicated from India and everybody will end up calling themselves rich."



F**k these people blame everything on us
- Montek and Manmohan
While DCFC reporter tried to connect Manmohan Singh, India's coolest prime minister ever, he was a bit confused initially about what to say. Then furious he was (Reporter couldn't sense from his facial expression), Manmohanji said "I am already fed up of Karuna and Mamata now what is this nonsense. Go to Monty and sort the issue out there." 
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Doctors detected new disease called 'Squeezomnia' in India’s Prime Minister Manmohan Singh

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Tuesday, 20 March 2012 | Posted in


UPA Government's allies are told to take rest for curing Manmohanji's disease

India's coolest prime minister ever, Manmohan Singhji was detected with a new kind of diseases. This disease was diagnosed in Manmohanji by doctors, after he was feeling restless and squeezed between different sides.

"The squeezing process is initially gradual and then takes fast speed making patient feel impatient and restless. He can't open his mouth or move hands freely. This is out of excess love and care by patient's friends and relatives," said Doctor Arindam C. Bhagat, most innovative mind and recognized as best doctor in the world.
Doctor Arindam C. Bhagat said "Initially, we thought it was a Type II Digestion problem came from silently squeezing inner abdominal muscles, as patient is not allowed to talk. But this was different thing and we also took some help from foreign doctors like Ian Jones."

"Finally we found out it as a new disease and named it as 'Squeezomnia'," said Dr. Bhagat, "This disease came after a lot of love shown by patient's allies. We took samples of Mr. M Karunanidhi and Ms. Mamata Banerjee and found out viruses of Squeezomnia which infected our lovely Manmohanji. Both of them have squeezed Manmohanji with so much of love and passion for last few days that now he became restless and impatient. In this kind of disease, instead of patient, his allies are told to take rest so that patient can take some breathe."

Dr. Ian Jones told reporters "I would like to recommend a Premotherapy for Manmohanji which will cool down the disease. We request his allies not to squeeze him with so much of care for at least next few days till he recovers to normal breath. I requested Manmohanji to talk at least in front of mirror for at least 10 minutes so that he would recover fast. Silence is of no help."

Reaction of Congress Party leaders was mixed. Kapil Sibal said "What the f**k is this? A nonsense kind of disease he called. I don't understand why he avoids rest at this age. If Rahul Baba is not interested now then I will become prime minister and will straighten up the country."

Salman Khurshid said "This matter is now with doctors so it would not be a good idea to comment on it."

Chacha Digvijay Singh (Diggy Chacha) said "I think now Manmohanji should retire from his post. I tried to mentor Rahul in such a way that neither ruling party allies nor opposition would squeeze him. He is with no bones buttery kind of soft guy, best suited as India's cute prime minister."

Irritated on Diggy Chacha, Soniaji (Madamji) said him "Chup raaho Diggyji. Maanmohaanji will carry till 2014 at least and if Congress will have clear majority Raul Baba will take charge."

Soniaji afterwards looking at Reporters told "I asked Maanmohaanji to not to waari. It is not a long period till 2014."
Doctors confirmed that they have sorted out all the copyright related issues and applied for patent.

Dr. Arindam Bhagat said "I applied for patent for the treatment and name Squeezomnia and also included my name and the name of the patient so that nobody will claim the success for this disease."
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Government plans to replace Digvijay Singh to Ravi Shastri as political commentator's job and appoint Arindam Chaudhuri as a guide to Rahul Baba

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Monday, 19 March 2012 | Posted in


Plan to restructure top positions near to Rahul Baba

After humiliating defeat in the Uttar Pradesh elections and continuous derogatory words from Samajwadi Party tore down the patience of Congress think tank which decided to take major restructuring activity in its election promotion programme under which party removed Diggy Chacha from political commentator and chief mentor's job to replace with Ravi Shastri and Arindam Chaudhuri respectively.

"Yea that's correct," said Janardhan Dwivedi, a spokesperson of Congress Party. "But Madamji (Soniaji) felt that there is very little juice left in Diggy that can be utilised for upcoming polls. She also felt that Diggyji's conventional methods of handling commentary and side-by-side mentoring Baba is not getting worked well and therefore we decided to appoint two best people in the industry for the job," Dwivedi said.

Dwivedi told that the positive replies are yet to come from both the contenders but from government side it is already decided.

The entire saga started after Congress appointed a committee of most intelligent team in the party which includes Kapil Sibal, P Chidambaram, Pranab Mukherjee and few more. Recently, Diggy Chacha's comments on Salman Rushdie and Samajwadi Party pulled the ire of this committee which decided to insert few new and fresh but professional faces in the team.

"If we want a person who can confuse people by playing words then Ravi Shastri is far better. Why do we require Diggy for that? Ravi Shastri has incredible uniqueness in his tongue. He talks unusual expressions in his commentary which generally general public can't understand and therefore party high command decided him to put on the job," said Janardhan Dwivedi.

He said "Arindam Chaudhuri has recently challenged Pranab Mukherjee's budget through his own alternate budget making him look funny and foolish in front of his 1,174,178 fans. This kind of huge following though there is nothing special in the guy is a kind of source of inspiration. Arindam will mentor Baba in increasing his following, particularly among teenage girls and aunties. He would be a new chief mentor of Rahul Baba."

Dwivedi said "We are not interested in asking him to offer finance minister's job after watching his alternate budget video. It would be very exasperating and tiresome to listen to him and watch his gesticulations for 2 hours."
When Diggy Chacha Fan Club (DCFC) reporter asked Ravi Shastri about his reaction over the entire episode and his appointment, he said "It's all about the mindset, you need to treat opening as a challenge."

When the reporter tried to understand the meaning from him, he said "One of the things I find is when there is a 10-minute period, you have to rush back in, change and quickly run out, that's something I have not done often enough. Sometimes, I feel I have been rushed to the middle when I have been asked to open."

Finally, DCFC reporter stopped thinking the entire meaning of the sentences and all the sentences sent to research department to find out the meaning.

Arindam Chaudhuri told DCFC reporter "I knew that the government would recognize my efforts and internationally acclaimed immense talent and would give me a chance to advise India's future prime minister Rahul Baba. I will give an international look to entire campaign. Still I feel Rahul Baba should attend alumni programme of IIPM which will help him dare to think beyond prime ministry."

DCFC reporter tried to contact Diggy Chacha who was not available for his comment. 
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Amazed by his popularity, Government set high level CBI enquiry on Arindam Chaudhuri

Posted by Diggy Chacha | | Posted in


Sources said Arindam Chaudhuri's fan base is correlated to size of his pony-tail

India's only international economist, international tink-tank (oh sorry think-tank), international author, international film maker, international dean, international management author, international marketing guru, management guru, and guru of gurus, Arindam Chaudhuri (popularly known for his internationally acclaimed pony tail as well) is now under government's radar for collecting more than 1mn fan base on the social networking.

"He is irritating and boring. Whenever I watch his youtube videos, I feel like make a suicidal attempt and give a note on his name so that at least his 32 tooth will go behind the bar, which he keeps open for 24 hours," said Digvijay Singh (Diggy Chacha) in a fully packed press conference.

"I don't understand how he can get more followers than Rahul Baba, who has buttery face with cute grin," Chacha said, expressing his frustration plus depression.

He further continued "Because of my efforts, today Baba is most well sought bachelor in the hearts Indian woman. He is the real heart-throb still I feel jealous with the following that Arindam has got and therefore I complained Sibal Bhai to look at the case and if there is any internet fraudship case he can take necessary steps."

Arindam Chaudhuri has 1,174,178 followers while Rahul Baba's fan page followed by only 165,764 fans.
Kapil Sibal who is inspecting this case said "See there is a zero loss if Rahul Baba would not have any fan, oh sorry I forgot. There is huge loss if we could not show the actual fanbase of Rahul Baba and the thing is right now Internet fraudship is rising as much as uncensored words and therefore we planned to put CBI on to the enquiry that how this pony-tailed Arindam received such huge fan base."

Diggy Chacha said "I have serious doubt that Arindam puts his college students on this job by distributing free laptops or he has connections with RSS or he created fraudulent Facebook Ids which I wanted to check. These days CBI is already a bit free so we decided them to ask to do this work."

While Diggy Chacha Fan Club (DCFC) reporter tried to get in touch with Arindam Chaudhuri, the IIPM Dean was busy in preparing 2013-14 budget for Rahul Baba so that at least this time he would get some attention from buttery face Rahul Baba and he would be appointed in the economic advisor's team for next government.

However, one source from IIPM told DCFC reporter that Arindam Chaudhuri's fan base is correlated to his pony. As the length of his pony grows his fans increase and as goes down his fans come down and therefore he kept his pony-tail as it is for so many years.

Few of the students from IIPM told DCFC reporter that they generally like to see Arindam's lectures rather than listen to him as there is a lot of fun quotient.

"Yea that's so funny. We feel we are highly entertained by him. Who the f**king idiot listens to him? We like his mannerisms which are more mesmerizing," said a student from IIPM who asks not to disclose his name.
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Sensex Update: Sensex turned negative after investors started watching Sachin Tendulkar's knock

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Friday, 16 March 2012 | Posted in


Investors bored with budget commentary

The Sensex, India's most tracked benchmark capital index lost sharply after 2 p.m. when Sachin Tendulkar settled in his batting, as investors switched off CNBC TV18 to Doordarshan. Market sources attributed it to a two way effect of tremendous interest in watching Sachin's 100th century and bored with bullshitting of stock market experts on Union Budget 2012-13.

The Sensex which was around 17,750 levels at around 2.15 p.m. lost more than 300 points within an hour, after many investors asked bolt operators to switch off CNBC TV 18 and ET NOW to start cricket match where Sachin was playing with a new vigour. Though, TV Anchors such as Udayan Mukherjee and many stock market experts protested this switch, investors told they wanted to avoid any more rape of their ears and eyes by TV anchors and these experts.

Udayan Mukherjee said "I was just astonished to see all my intra-day positions were in red which I invested expecting huge gains after budget. Everything was fine till 2 p.m. even investors forget useless budget and kept the markets in positive territory but this Sachin's fiasco took us to hell."

SP Tulsian said "Today, when I had an opportunity to talk on Budget, I witnessed lack of volume and stock reactions made me feel that I should not throw my precious words to investors so I deferred my interview."
Udayan said "I just want to complain it to SEBI and wants my funds fully recovered whichever I lost in the intra-day. SEBI should at least ask Sachin who is going to earn huge money after this record to payback some amount to me."

A source told Diggy Chacha Fan Club (DCFC), investors forgot totally negative, irritating and zero gain (no not zero loss) budget till around 2.15 p.m. when news came that Sachin is playing beautifully. All investors on various bolts asked bolt operators to switch off business news channels and start sports channel to witness a great knock from Sachin Tendulkar. This suddenly dried up the volume in the market and the index plunged on the lack of interest from the investors.

Chintan Shah, a wholetime investor told DCFC reporter "I was getting bored with that ridiculous and boring budget commentary. Whatever I knew that the budget was hopeless, these experts were talking the same thing but some different ways using financial vocabulary. But Sachin's knock made my day."


Pranab Mukherjee congratulated Sachin Tendulkar by saying that he was very much thankful to shift focus on Pranabda and his budget to himself.
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Congrates Sachin for your 100th 100... Thanks for beautiful day after budgetary bakwaas....

Posted by Diggy Chacha | | Posted in

Pranab scored zero while Sachin scored 100.... 100 out of 100

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