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Chacha Amar meets Suresh Bhai at Tihar

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Tuesday, 6 September 2011 | Posted in

There was a really bad day for Chacha Thakur Amar Singh (Chacha Amar) as in spite of his severe kidney damage he has to spend few days in not-so-comfortable to stay Tihar Jail. A person who is also famous as Chacha Chowdhary of politics said "I lost my kidneys and I am now living on borrowed kidneys. There are hazards of being in public life and there is infection in my urinary tract which is dangerous for my borrowed kidney." However, an inhuman angle of Indian democracy came in front of his fans. Judge asked him to take a rest at Tihar Jail, which according to Chacha Amar was not-so-comfortable. His lawyer said "Inspite of being so critically ill, he appeared before the court. That shows his good conduct. He is supposed to take regular tests to check the salt imbalances in his kidneys."



When Chacha Amar took to Tihar Jail, first thing he had done to meet his closest colleague and Diggy Chacha's beloved and innocent brother Suresh Kalmadi (famous for not having brain still operates efficiently). We have the records of their conversation. Please go through.

"Hi! It has been a long time to see you. How are you and How's life at Tihar?" Amar

"Yea its fine! I stay with myself working on a book called "How to become billionaire without spending money from pockets"" Suresh

"Ha ha ha… so you are writing your auto biography" Amar

"Yea you can say that. By the way these days you are on the top of google search results. You removed Anna from top search list. Congrates!" Suresh

"Actually, I thought it could have been after UP elections but CBI and government didn't give me time. I asked them to put me into hospital as I am a kidney (imbalanced) patient but they said Tihar Jail Hospital's facility is much better than Fortis or Apollo. By the way how's your brain? I heard you have some Ghazini like issues, some short-term memory loss problem. I also heard that your skull cells will be sent to Research organizations to check how you operate without having any brain." Amar

"Boss! That was all conspiracy against me. These people wanted me to prove mad so that they can take my entire property generated through CWG. I understand all these things of politicians. All are same. By the way, how is your big brother?" Suresh

"Arrey! He showed me doors as soon as it revealed that I was going to be held in cash-for-vote controversy by CBI. He told me that he is just an aam aadmi and don't want to have any relations with any politicians. Tell me! I helped him in getting farmer's degree from UP College of Scams and now he only derecognizes me." Amar

"Such a sad story yaar! Generally it happens. People start forgetting good things and stay away from corrupt politicians like you. By the way! My brother had recognized me and also offered his help sometime back. In a press conference Diggy said I am innocent." Suresh

"Yea I read that story. Forget it. Now feeling bad yaar. Behenji is sleeping in AC room and do you know some time back she sent empty private jet to Mumbai to get her favorite sandals." Amar


"How so lucky she is right now! But I believe that it will not take much time to arrive at Tihar to have elaborate discussion on issues in Jail. Then we can also conduct elections in Tihar Jail and let all prisoners appoint a Chief Minister for Jail. Even we can hold territory wise elections so that we can appoint Prime Minister for Tihar Jail. I believe she can at least fulfill her dream to become Prime Minister over here." Suresh said.

“Is Congress behind Wikileaks?” asks Behenji Mayawati

Posted by Diggy Chacha | | Posted in

Uttar Pradesh Chief Minister Mayawati (Behenji) on Tuesday launched a scathing attack on WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange alleging that "he had either gone mad or is working with our opponents (Congress or BJP or SP, that was what she kept secret?)". Reacting to WikiLeaks revelations about the money spent by her, Mayawati termed the claims by the whistleblower site as wrong and baseless.

During her entire speech, Behenji refrain from mentioning the name of Julian Assange and referred to him as 'WikiLeaks owner'. When DCFC reporter checked with a close associate of Behenji, he said "There was pronunciation problem. She thought that if she pronounces Julian Assange differently, the proper message that she wanted to give could not have been reached to him. Therefore, she avoided his name and said WikiLeaks owner. She is our party's brain."

"Usko, wikileak ke owner ko pagalkhaane bhej do," said Mayawati in hindi. WikiLeaks cable disclosed about Behenji's queen-size royal lifestyle. "Behenji is sadhvi. How can somebody disclose her lifestyle to the world? A media shy Behenji that's why needed to come in front of reporters to give strong reply to WikiLeaks owner," said her associate.

A WikiLeaks cable had said that Behenji sent a private jet to Mumbai to get a pair of sandals for herself.
"When she needed new sandals, her private jet flew empty to Mumbai to retrieve her preferred brand," a cable said describing her "eccentricities (means weirdness), whims (means impulse) and insecurities (means lack of self-confidence)".

US embassy cables from 2007 to 2009 released by the WikiLeaks website describe Mayawati as "a first-rate egomaniac" who "is obsessed with becoming prime minister".

"How would somebody know in such a detail? We ask government to probe into it and asks CBI enquiry," one UP based BSP's leader said.

The cable also disclose secret behind good health of Behenji and quoted Lucknow journalists claiming that she employs nine cooks (two to cook, the others to watch over them) and two food tasters. "Our Behenji likes good food. She is foodomaniac as well, which WikiLeaks owner conveniently missed to tell," a proud follower of Behenji told.

"She fears assassination and demanded from the central government the highest level of protection available. In addition to this outsized security apparatus, she constructed a private road from her residence to her office, which is cleaned immediately after her multiple vehicle convoy reaches its destination," said the cable.

"So what is harm? She is would be Prime Minister of India and a nightmare to Rahul Baba. So what is the harm of keeping herself secured? WikiLeaks owner told out of jealousy," the follower said. He added "Behenji likes cleanliness and hygiene, therefore road is cleaned immediately after she reaches her destination."

Behenji, however, said that these stories were just an effort to tarnish her and her party's image considering that the Uttar Pradesh elections are near. "This is a conspiracy just before the elections," Behenji said.


"We seriously sense opposition's involvement which includes SP, BJP and Congress into WikiLeaks episode and owner is supported by Manuwadi RSS," Behenji's top aide said.

Wikileaks on Diggyleaks

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Monday, 5 September 2011 | Posted in

Even Wikileaks (an organization that discloses the leakages with US Diplomats) leaked information that showed a tremendous amount of intelligence of Diggy Chacha. Chacha told US diplomats in 2007 that the Congress was embracing "soft Hindutva" and pandered to Muslim fundamentalists. Also, he said it was irrelevant if Manmohan Singh survived as prime minister and the party would accept anyone chosen by Sonia Gandhi as premier (ha ha ha… that's why Madamji is considered as powerful lady in the world)..

In a meeting with US diplomats on May 22, 2007, the senior Congress leader known for his proximity to 10 Janpath, told them that the Congress party was faring badly in elections "because it was reluctant to embrace its own progressive and secular ideology", the cable sent on May 24 said.

Chacha complained that the Congress had "backed away from confronting communalism and casteism and this was hurting the party at the polls". He said caste and religious identities were losing their political usefulness and that Congress would benefit from this ongoing social change if it embraced an uncompromising position on these issues.

Instead, Singh lamented, the party embraced "soft Hindutva" and pandered to Muslim fundamentalists, while regional parties continue to undermine Congress and its vote blocs.

"Singh maintained that it is irrelevant whether Manmohan Singh survives as prime minister, emphasizing that the Gandhi-Nehru family is the heart and soul of Congress and party members will accept anyone as prime minister if he/she is selected by Sonia Gandhi," the cable said.


The cable, analyzing three years of the first UPA government, came at a time when the Congress was faring badly in a string of elections. The Congress had faced electoral defeats in Bihar, Uttarakhand, Jharkhand and Uttar Pradesh. The Congress was "increasingly presenting a picture of a party in the doldrums", the cable said.

Third attack on Sushma Aunty

Posted by Diggy Chacha | | Posted in

Today DCFC's morning edition is only devoted to intelligence of Diggy Chacha. We have covered few stories on his intelligence, his communication skills, his understanding of subject, his strategies and his eagerness to make Congress as the international party. We salute all these things.

We have covered Diggy-65 (Congress' most successful weapon), a gun that attacked on many fronts but is still unscathed. First two attacks came on Anna Hazare, RSS and Arvind Kejriwal. Third attack was on Sushma Swaraj (famous for her dance skills, Sushma aunty).  

Diggy Chacha said "We have been saying from the beginning. Sushma Swaraj has business relations with them (Reddys). Venkaiah Naidu has business relations with them. This is what we said from the beginning," Singh told reporters in Jammu a day former Karnataka minister Janardhana Reddy was arrested by the CBI in connection with the mining scam.

When DCFC reporter enquired as to how Diggy Chacha received the information, one closed associate said "All credit goes to his private intelligence bureau which took out information. His advisory council prepared a speech and gave it to him."

"They (Reddys) were virtually running an unchallenged empire there. What happened today, should have happened three years ago," Chacha said.

He was replying to questions about the arrest of Reddy and his brother-in-law and Managing Director of Obalapuram Mining Company B V Srinivas Reddy under Prevention of Corruption Act by the CBI after searches at their premises allegedly led to seizure of over 30 kg of gold and more than Rs4.5Cr in cash.
In Delhi, Sushma aunty struck a combative tone asking Prime Minister Manmohan Singh to appoint Digvijay to investigate the matter.

Denying any relations with the mining barons either in the past or at present, aunty said, "I welcome this statement of Digvijay Singh and I want that this probe should definitely be done so that the truth comes out as only when the truth comes out will I get justice."

DCFC's coverage of Diggy Chacha for today

Diggy back with a bang; Shooting on all directions


"Diggy should be sent to Pune Mental Hospital," Annaji

First Attack on Anna and RSS

Second Attack on Arvind Kejriwal

Second Attack on Arvind Kejriwal

Posted by Diggy Chacha | | Posted in

Diggy Chacha's second target was anti-graft activist, Arvind Kejriwal. He said, "Kejriwal is still a government employee. Government has not accepted his resignation, pending from 2004 as we thought he was the best asset serving for India. Why did he require to resign? Now even 6th pay commission is applied he can get salary from retrospective effect. He is still an officer of Indian Revenue Service (IRS). Even Annaji's resignation was not accepted by Army. We require his service more on border. I am here to look after internal matters so why does he need to cry and shout."

Diggy Chacha made few questions to reporters checking their knowledge about laws for Indian government employees "Has a government employee right to open campaigning? Has he the right to collect donation? If 40 lakh employees cannot do it, how can he (Kejrewal) do it", Singh said, asking as an IRS officer how many scam has he brought out.

Throwing the ball in the court of opposition, he said, "The government has respected Team Anna and invited them to the drafting committee but it was opposition which had problem with it, not us."
He said, "I don't understand why do these (Team Anna) people try to take credit from government's clean up policies." He added "The credit from strong laws against money laundering goes to Manmohan Singh government and the result is that Madhu Koda is not getting bail in the last 3 years."


Asking him about the emergence of Manish Tewari as his strong competitor in making non-sense statements, he gave a mischievous smile and said "He can't be my competitor. Copying me does not make anybody great."



First Attack on Anna and RSS

Posted by Diggy Chacha | | Posted in

Diggy Chacha's Jammu visit is getting more popular than his recent Azamgarh (in UP) visit. Recently came from his maun vrata (course that covers I will not make any non-sense statements for few days syllabus) due to many party leaders' request, Universe' most intelligent person Digvijay Singh (Diggy Chacha) has shown an example of his expertise on shooting many targets with only one shot.


"Congrates Chacha, you are bang on target," says Rahul Baba. "I salute to your intelligence. Just when everybody was sidelining us you came and saved the time. I will tell Mumma to get you promoted," he added.
Stepping up attack on Anna Hazare and his team, Diggy Chacha on Monday alleged that the activist was a "mask of RSS like yoga guru Ramdev" and was being used to divert attention from the arrest of Sangh members in terror cases. When DCFC reporter asked why Diggy Chacha was trying to bring RSS issue, a senior Congress party leader said "That is what an actual idea, right now he is in Kashmir luring Muslim votes while sometime back he was in UP accusing Behenji to lure Muslims and Dalits vote. Everything came from his own brain and party was happy as he became savior in the troubled time."


The Lokpal issue, Chacha told reporters here, was raked up "to divert the attention of the people from the arrests of various RSS activists in connection with terrorism and others in corruption cases. However, when DCFC reporter asked him that yesterday only he told that Hazare was a social worker and that was the reason why the "Congress-led" UPA government reacted on his demands. So in a way Congress supported RSS's agitation.
He said "That statement I made in Azamgarh and now I am in Jammu so there should inevitably be changed." A supporter of Diggy Chacha revealed that Diggy Chacha's Private Intelligence Bureau (DCPIB), a most active intelligence agency in India had got information just before reaching Jammu that it was also a RSS conspiracy.

"They (BJP and RSS) formulated this plan. First they made Baba Ramdev as its mask and then Anna," he alleged.


The Congress general secretary said, "I respect Anna Hazare as he is (also) Gandhian (though not brainy like me) but, unfortunately, he is surrounded by wrong people."

“Diggy should sent to Pune Mental Hospital,” Annaji

Posted by Diggy Chacha | | Posted in

Recognising the new launch of attacks from the government through its sharpest gun Diggy-65 (65 is age of this gun), anti-graft activist Anna Hazare on Monday returned fire at Congress general secretary Digvijay Singh (Diggy Chacha) stating, ''Going by the statement he (Digvijay Singh) is making... he should be sent to Pune Mental Hospital.''

When DCFC reporter asked why Pune and why not Thane or Agra? Annaji humbly said "Thane's capacity and facility is small for Diggy like patients while Agra he would feel uncomfortable as many politicians will join soon over there. Pune is good he can get settled."


However, when DCFC reporter told Anna that many research organizations have come to a conclusion that Diggy Chacha is most intelligent person in the universe, Annaji got furious and said "Throw away your research. it must be from Gartner or Nielson without any relevance. I would recommend government to admit him ASAP."

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